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Finding Your Passion at Post
A Personal Exploration for Accompanying Partners
By Patricia Linderman
First comes love, then marriage … and before you know it, you’re living as an accompanying spouse abroad, doing weekly radio checks from a security-barred Ethan Allen bedroom in East Bagotrashia.
You can kiss many of your previous freedoms goodbye – like the freedom to paint your walls non-beige colors, drive around a city with your car windows open, or walk right into a store and buy a carton of ricotta cheese.
But if you’re fortunate, you may discover a different kind of freedom as an accompanying spouse overseas: the freedom to reinvent yourself, to try out new activities and do things you’ve always dreamed of doing.
Maybe you’ve dreamed of learning oil painting from a prominent
local artist; writing a novel (set in the exotic Bagotrashian fish-paste market?); starting a small business; studying anthropology; throwing unforgettable parties; or helping kids in a local orphanage.
If this sounds good in a general way, but you’ve been too busy ordering consumables, attending security seminars and pleading with Internet service technicians in a foreign language to think of your own personal fulfillment, the questions on the next page may help you uncover your hidden passion (no, not the one for that cute econ officer; everyone knows about that!)
1. What are some of your personal priorities?
(check as many as you like; rank them; and/or add your own)
___ having free time to be flexible and spontaneous
___ using your education and/or skills
___ raising your children
___ helping others
___ doing interesting work
___ doing something creative
___ earning money
___ enjoying time with friends
___ making a difference in the world
___ gaining recognition and respect for what you do
___ learning new information and skills
___ continuing your formal education
___ meeting interesting people
___ getting to know your host country
___ spending time in nature
___ being physically fit and active
2. What special skills do you have that you enjoy using and would like to develop further?
3. What are some activities you’ve always wanted to do or try?
4. What did you most enjoy doing when you were about ten or eleven years old?
5. After you leave your current post, what would you like people there to remember about you?
6. Have you ever experienced a feeling of “flow” – getting so wrapped up in something that you don’t notice the passage
of time? What were you doing when it happened?
7. If you had to stay on a small island for a few years, what would you take with you, and what would you do with your time?
8. Some people put bumper stickers on their cars saying “I’d rather be fishing” or “I’d rather be sailing.” What would yours say?
Once you have some ideas, you may of course realize that not a single person in either East or West Bagotrashia is doing what you hope to do, but be bold. Organize a scuba divers’ association in a landlocked country, start your post’s first parrot rescue society, or link up with fellow medieval historians online. Passions are contagious, and you may inspire others and make friends for life!
Patricia Linderman is editor in chief of Tales from a Small Planet, www.talesmag.com, and co-author of The Expert Expat: Your Guide to Successful Relocation Abroad (2nd ed. 2007). Her passions include snorkeling, playing online word games with friends on another continent, and giving annoying advice to people she doesn’t even know. She sends this from behind (security) bars in Guayaquil.